Alright, so your soul hasn’t been crushed enough by endless meetings and forced smiles? Good, because “Corporate Retreat” sounds like it’s about to offer a whole new level of existential dread – with a healthy dose of blood splatter. Justin here, and let’s be honest, the news of Rosanna Arquette and Ashton Sanders joining this flick has me morbidly curious.
We already knew Lilly Krug was on board for this satirical horror-thriller, which, let’s face it, is a genre that practically writes itself when you’re talking about the soulless void of corporate America. But Arquette and Sanders? That adds a layer of intrigue that suggests this might actually be more than just a cheap gore-fest (though, let’s be clear, I’m fully expecting the cheap gore-fest).
The premise? A bunch of suits dragged to some godforsaken “team-bonding” exercise only to find out that the trust falls are going to involve actual life-or-death drops. Described as a “gory mix of The Menu and Saw,” this sounds like the kind of cinematic therapy we all secretly crave after a week of pointless emails and management buzzwords. Finally, a chance to see some corporate climbers get taken down a peg – or several. Violently.
Uri Singer, who brought us the wonderfully weird White Noise, is producing, and Aaron Fisher, the mind behind Inside the Rain, is directing this descent into HR hell. They’ve got a script co-written with Kerri Lee Romeo, so hopefully, there’s some sharp wit mixed in with all the inevitable dismemberment.
Look, the corporate world is a festering wound on the underbelly of society, and the idea of seeing those who thrive in that environment get hunted down by a vengeful retreat leader? That’s not just entertainment; that’s catharsis. I’m picturing PowerPoint presentations on “maximizing shareholder value” interrupted by the whir of a chainsaw. Maybe even a water cooler that dispenses something a lot thicker than H2O.
“Corporate Retreat” starts filming in June. Mark your calendars, folks. This could be the horror movie that finally makes those mandatory team-building seminars seem… slightly less terrifying by comparison. Or maybe it’ll just confirm your deepest fears about what your boss is really planning. Either way, Horrorfacts will be here to cover every bloody detail. Stay cynical, stay spooky. Justin out.
