Baked and Afraid: The Top 5 Stoner Horror Movies for a Paranoid High

Greetings, ghouls and ganja lovers! Have you ever noticed how well horror movies pair with that special green herb? When you’re elevated and edgy, the scares hit even harder. Let’s take a trippy tour through the top 5 stoner horror films perfect for a paranoid high. Just be sure to pass the popcorn…and the pipe.

  1. Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

Sam Raimi’s gonzo 1987 sequel remains one of horror’s funniest and freakiest mind melters. Bruce Campbell returns as Ash, fending off sex-crazed “deadites” inside a possessed cabin with his trusty chainsaw and boomstick shotgun while also losing his mind.

Why it’s perfect when high: Evil Dead 2 cranks the surreal psychedelia to 11. Ash’s slapstick scrambles to survive the night as malevolent spirits assault the cabin makes for wild stoned entertainment. You’ll bust a gut laughing at his exploits while chewing your nails as more Deadites emerge.

Raimi pulls out all the stops visually too – reality itself starts bending and distorting, like a bad trip come to life. The original’s grimy DIY charm gets a manic, inventive upgrade. No horror sequel before or since has matched its colorful creativity. The rapid-fire absurdity is tailor-made for enhancing with herbal relaxation. But beware – you may end up yelling as many iconic one-liners as Ash before the credits roll. Groovy!

  1. Zombieland

Ruben Fleischer’s 2009 road comedy made zombies cool again for the Call of Duty generation. Jesse Eisenberg’s anxious survivor Columbus learns to enjoy life’s little pleasures – Twinkies, carnival rides, and creative zombie kills – while on a road trip across the post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Why it’s perfect when high: Zombieland melds comedy, carnage, and character drama into the ultimate undead experience. Its balance of laughs and gory zombie action makes for an infectiously great time while buzzed. You’ll relish Tallahassee’s insane ramblings about his favorite snacks even more while personally demolishing a mountain of munchies.

Let’s not forget the famous rules for surviving zombieland like “Double Tap” and “Beware of Bathrooms.” They take on new paranoid meaning after a long toke. And the climactic final stand in an amusement park is a wickedly fun wet dream for cannabis lovers – all those thrill rides and cotton candy begging to be devoured! Zombieland earns its title as both a stoner spectacle and a feel-good buddy comedy.

  1. Idle Hands

This underrated 1999 horror comedy starred a young Devon Sawa still riding high from his success in Final Destination. Here he plays an average stoner teen who wakes up one morning with – you guessed it – an evil idle hand possessed by a demonic spirit. It forcibly murders his parents and goes on a slapsticky killing spree, while poor Devon is helpless to stop it – even after chopping the pesky thing off! Early roles from a teenaged Jessica Alba and Seth Green co-starring only up the quotient of dysfunctional teen antics.

Why it’s perfect when high: Idle Hands is a non-stop blast of goofy gross-out gore, stoner humor, and oddball teen shenanigans made extra funny and paranoid when enhanced by some green. Devon’s futile struggles to control his unruly limb take on a deeper meaning when viewing buzzed and unable to control your own rebellious body parts. The scenes where he finally “tames” his severed hand like a reluctant pet are especially hilarious and oddly relateable. And the supporting cast’s quirky chemistry keeps the trippy good vibes flowing.

  1. Reefer Madness

This cult classic 1936 propaganda film was meant to scare parents into forbidding their teens from toking up, lest they become crazed murderers. But its campy melodrama and exaggerated depictions of “marihuana” causing decent teens to devolve into raving psychos sealed its ironic legacy instead. The colorized version only heightens the goofy surrealism.

Why it’s perfect when high: No horror-comedy before or since skewers hysterical anti-weed hyperbole better than Reefer Madness. Its portrayal of harmless stoners losing their minds over one joint seems absurdly laughable rather than scary. Watching this “educational” relic while actually high yourself amplifies that hilarious disconnect tenfold. With age, the film became an accurate mirror of what conservative fearmongers imagined their kids smoking weed would look like. It remains the perfect parody of pot paranoia.

  1. Drag Me To Hell

Legendary horror director Sam Raimi returned to his frivolously freaky roots after years away with this 2009 occult thriller. Alison Lohman stars as young loan officer Christine, who incurs the wrath of an ancient gypsy curse after denying an unholy crone’s mortgage extension request.

Why it’s perfect when high: Raimi unleashes every spooky trick and trope with sadistic glee as poor Christine endures hauntings, demonic attacks, and disgusting assaults in her quest to lift the curse within three days and avoid eternal damnation. The rollercoaster pace and Hall of Fame gross-out gags make it an amusement ride from hell even before imbibing any mind-altering substances. But high viewers will feel especially immersed in the dizzying terror. The psychedelic finale trip is destined to haunt your next doobie dreams.

As any seasoned stoner horror fiend knows, mixing laughs, scares, and a special sugar high is a surefire recipe for fear and laughter in equal measure. These five freaky classics will take your next scary movie night to paranoid new heights. Just be sure to have ample munchie supplies, remember proper social distancing and masking, and of course, smoke responsibly my glazed ghoul friends. Then let me know your own favorite cannabis-enhanced horror gems. And steer clear of any uncontrollable limbs or old gypsy curses…good luck!