It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, so what better way to celebrate the season than to spend the month watching Christmas themed horror movies?
We, at Horrorfacts, will be doing just that: watching some of the best and worst Christmas horror movies all month long and then giving you, the reader, a review of each film.
So, follow us as we cover everything from the classics to the pieces of trash all month long.
For my first Christmas movie, I thought I would start with the 1997 direct-to-video slasher film, ‘Jack Frost,’ written and directed by Michael Cooney.
Not to be confused with the family friendly ‘Jack Frost,’ starring Michael Keaton, this version of ‘Jack Frost’ is about a serial killer, named Jack Frost, who, after being mutated into a murderous snowman, sets out to exact revenge on the man who caught him.
We open the movie with serial killer, Jack Frost, being transported to his execution. Due to a snowstorm and low visibility, the prison transport vehicle carrying Frost crashes into a truck carrying genetic chemicals. While he is trying to make his escape, the hatch holding back the chemicals bursts open and covers Frost, causing him to melt into the snow.
From here, we’re introduced to Sheriff Sam Tiler and, thanks to a flashback, learn that he was the one to catch Frost when he happened across his car on the side of the road.
This whole first act is about setting up the characters and the false belief that Jack Frost was killed in the accident, ending his reign of terror.
In the second act of the movie, we are treated to some of the stupidest and most laughable kills in horror movie history – kills that include decapitation by sled, the handle of an axe being shoved down someone’s throat, and strangulation by Christmas lights.
But the dumbest kill comes in the form of Jack Frost forcing himself on a young woman named Jill, played by a young Shannon Elizabeth. He proceeds to sexually assault Jill with his carrot nose while in the bath tub and then repeatedly bashes her head against a wall until she dies.
Following these kills, Jack finally sets his sights on Sheriff Tiler and we’re informed that the chemical the truck was carrying was an acid designed to bond the human chromosome with inert material, so that the person can be resurrected in the future in the event of a global holocaust (because that makes sense).
After a failed attempt to stop Jack (come on people the killer never dies on the first or second attempt), Jack soon returns and claims more victims before finally getting his showdown with Sheriff Tiler.
Thanks to a bag of oatmeal his son made for him earlier in the movie, Sheriff Tiler learns that Jack is vulnerable to anti-freeze. Think about that statement: 1. His son made him oatmeal with anti-freeze in it, and, 2. Anti-freeze hurts him. I love the idiotic writing that went into this script.
In an ending that has to be seen to be believed, Jack is thrown into the back of a truck box filled with anti-freeze and submerged until his body melts to nothing.
Overall, Jack Frost is a bad movie, but it’s a movie that’s so bad it’s good.
Maybe it was the absurd premise or horrible acting or cheesy dialogue or terrible rubber snowman, or maybe it was all of those things combined, but I loved this movie and couldn’t stop laughing throughout the course of the film. The best part is that it’s clear the filmmaker knew the end result was going to be bad, so he embraced it, throwing in cheesy one liners and really going for it. If you’re going to fail then fail miserably.
If you’re a fan of terrible movies, or if you’re looking for a movie to laugh at with friends, then this movie is one you should definitely check out this holiday season.
I have come here to chew bubblegum and write horror, and I’m all out of bubblegum.