An Editorial by Sammy, Knife in the Dark’s resident drunkard and zombie apocalypse enthusiast
“YOU’VE GOT RED ON YOU… AND IT’S PROBABLY WINE (A LOVE LETTER TO EDGAR WRIGHT’S ZOM-COM MASTERPIECE)”
Alright, mates—grab your cricket bat, crack open a cold one, and try not to puke when I tell you how Shaun of the Dead is the perfect movie to watch hammered. Spoiler: It’s funnier when you’re three sheets to the wind, and I may have tried to fight a zombie (it was a coat rack).
1. SHAUN IS ALL OF US (ESPECIALLY WHEN DRUNK)
Let’s be real—Shaun’s life before the apocalypse is a mood. Stuck in a dead-end job? Check. Failing at love? Check. Oblivious to the world collapsing around him? Big check. Watching him stumble through a zombie outbreak while hungover is the most relatable survival story ever.
Drunk Observation: “Wait… are the zombies just metaphor for, like… adulting? …Nah, they’re just hungry. Pass the whiskey.”
2. THE PUB IS THE ONLY SAFE PLACE (PHILOSOPHY 101)
The Winchester: A sacred haven where the drinks are cold, the jukebox is loaded, and the zombies technically can’t get you if you’re too pissed to notice them. Edgar Wright gets it—when society crumbles, your local pub is the real bunker.
Drunk Plan: “Step 1: Go to bar. Step 2: Stay at bar. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Survive (maybe).”
3. THE SOUNDTRACK SLAPS (EVEN WHEN YOU’RE SLURRING)
Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” + zombie beatdown = cinematic perfection. Also, drunk-you will absolutely air-drum along to the pool cue fight scene.
Drunk Karaoke Moment: 🎵 “I’m gonna take a little walk outside today…” 🎵 (Note: Do not walk outside. There are zombies.)
4. IT’S A ROM-COM… WITH GUTS (LITERALLY)
Shaun’s quest to win back Liz is almost as heroic as his quest to not get eaten. The real horror? Realizing you’d also try to save your ex during the apocalypse.
Drunk Realization: “Oh god… I am the useless boyfriend in a disaster movie.”
5. THE RULES STILL APPLY (EVEN WHEN YOU’RE WASTED)
Edgar Wright sneaks in actual zombie survival tips between pints and punchlines:
- Double-tap. (Or in my case, stumble-tap.)
- Check your mates for bites. (Especially Ed. Especially.)
- Avoid chain-smoking twats. (Too late.)
Drunk Survival Rating: “I’d last 10 minutes. 15 if there’s a pub nearby.”
FINAL VERDICT: BEST MOVIE TO WATCH DRUNK (AND REGRET NOTHING)
Shaun of the Dead is the only zombie film where the real threat isn’t the undead—it’s your own terrible life choices. And honestly? That’s way scarier.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to reenact the “Zombie Queen” scene with my bandmates.
– Sammy
(Currently hiding in the Winchester. Send crisps.)
🍻🔥 PS: IF THE APOCALYPSE HITS, I’M HEADING STRAIGHT TO THE PUB. MEET YOU THERE. 🔥🍻
