Wanna Summon a Demon with a Guitar?

🔥 HOW TO SUMMON A DEMON USING A GUITAR FEEDBACK LOOP (STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE) 🔥
By Sammy, Knife in the Dark’s Lead Screamer and Reluctant Occultist

🎸 INTRODUCTION: WHY BOTHER WITH A OUJIA BOARD WHEN YOU’VE GOT A MARSHALL STACK?

Let’s be real—most of us got into metal because we wanted to sound evil. But why stop at sounding evil when you could actually summon something unholy with your rig? Forget candles and Latin chants—true demonology runs on tube amps, dropped tunings, and sheer volume.

This guide assumes three things:

1. You own a guitar (preferably one cursed by a previous owner).
2. You’re okay with eternal damnation for a killer tone.
3. You’ve accepted that your neighbors will call the cops.

🛠 STEP 1: GEAR REQUIREMENTS (THE RITUAL COMPONENTS)

The Guitar

• Type: Preferably a black B.C. Rich or a pawn-shop Strat with suspicious stains.
• Strings: Rusty. The more tetanus risk, the better.
• Tuning: Drop Z (just detune until the strings go slack).

The Amp

• Minimum Wattage: Enough to shake paint off walls (or wake the dead).
• Settings:
  • Gain: Dimed (if it’s not clipping, you’re not trying).
  • Mids: Scooped to hell (demons love a V-shaped EQ).
  • Reverb: “Cathedral” or “Abyss” (literal portals).

Pedals

• Distortion: A ProCo Rat (the Devil’s favorite pedal).
• Delay: Set to “Infinite Feedback” (for eternal suffering).
• Optional: A Boss Metal Zone (because even Satan needs a challenge).

🌀 STEP 2: THE FEEDBACK LOOP (PORTAL TO HELL)

1. Crank the amp until the walls vibrate. If your ears aren’t bleeding, turn it up.
2. Face the guitar directly at the amp. Let the pickups scream like a banshee.
3. Hold a sustained note (preferably E, the Devil’s interval).
4. Tweak the delay/reverb until the sound becomes self-aware.

Pro Tip: If your amp catches fire, you’re on the right track.

👹 STEP 3: INVOCATION (LYRICAL SUMMONING)

While the feedback wails, growl these lyrics into the mic (or just scream nonsense):

“Rise from the void, O’ shredder of souls,
I offer thee my tone—and my neighbor’s complaints!
By the power of loudness, I command thee:
Possess this rig, and slay the mix!“

Note: If you don’t have a mic, a karaoke machine works in a pinch.

📛 STEP 4: SIGIL WORK (FOR THE EXTRA DESPERATE)

• Draw a pentagram on your pedalboard with hot sauce or blood (yours or a volunteer’s).
• Arrange your picks in a demonic sigil (Google “Slayer logo”).
• Sacrifice a tuner (because real musicians play by ear).

🌋 STEP 5: THE CONTRACT (WHAT TO EXPECT)

Warning: If your amp starts speaking in tongues, negotiate royalties before signing anything.

🎸 STEP 6: POST-SUMMONING CARE

• Cleanse your rig with holy water (or just beer).
• Check your cables for ectoplasm (or spilled vodka).
• Document the experience for your next album’s liner notes.

💀 FINAL VERDICT: WAS IT WORTH IT?

Pros:

• Your tone is now literally infernal.
• You’ve skipped music theory entirely.
• The demon might fix your mix (if bribed).

Cons:

• Your bandmates will leave you.
• Your amp is haunted forever.
• You’ll never top this live show.

— Sammy
Currently banned from Guitar Center for “unsanctioned necromancy”

🔥🎸 PS: IF THIS DOESN’T WORK, TRY A METALZONE INTO A LINE 6 SPIDER. EVEN SATAN WON’T TOUCH THAT. 🎸🔥