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No Escape From Wayne’s World: The Never-Ending Saga of Murder 

Wayne's World as a Horror Comedy

The familiar strains of “Bohemian Rhapsody” play, but instead of Wayne and Garth headbanging in an AMC Pacer, the camera pans down to show them brutally murdering their passengers. Welcome to the horror version of Wayne’s World, where the laughs have turned to screams.

In this nightmarish reimagining of the 1992 comedy classic, Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar are not a couple of fun-loving metalheads broadcasting a cable access show from their basement. Instead, they are two psychopathic killers who use their show to lure unsuspecting victims to a grisly demise. Wayne’s charming and affable personality is merely a façade that hides his deep-seated homicidal urges and mental instability. And Garth, the once awkward and sweet sidekick, has descended into madness under Wayne’s corrupting influence.

During the day, Wayne screams out “Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World, Party Time, Excellent!” draws in excited fans to Wayne’s house where they meet a grim fate in its shadowy corners and basement. But at night, the show continues to air as if nothing is wrong, with Wayne and Garth making macabre inside jokes about their viewers who have become prey. The brand of absurdist, irreverent humor that made the original Wayne’s World a comedy hit takes on a sinister and unsettling tone in this horror reimagining. Party on, indeed.

Wayne’s World would be a great horror comedy.

By day, “Wayne’s World” plays on local Aurora access television as Wayne and Garth go through the motions of their usual show, bantering and trading silly “Not!” jokes. But their eyes frequently dart off-screen, distracted by the screams audible from their basement where they have trapped their latest victims. During commercial breaks, they hurriedly descend the basement stairs to torment and murder their prey in grisly ways. The more their popularity grows, the more crazed Wayne becomes in his need to kill – his basement is starting to fill up with the decaying bodies of teens and metalheads, his most devoted fans. 

One night, a young woman named Cassandra wanders into Wayne’s basement after a show taping, becoming lost in the sprawling house. At first, Wayne charms her in his usual friendly way. But once Wayne realizes they are alone, his friendly façade vanishes. He locks the basement door as Cassandra’s eyes widen in terror. “Excellent!” Wayne exclaims, pulling out his signature catchphrase in a sinister snarl.

Upstairs, Garth halfheartedly continues on with the show, stumbling over his words and dropping items in distraction. His conscience flickers for a brief moment, doubting whether this spiral of death they are caught in can continue much longer. But one chilling bellow from Wayne in the basement, demanding Garth come join the “fun”, reminds him of the hold Wayne has over him. Garth shudders, pushes his glasses up, and goes to join Wayne in Cassandra’s tortured final hours of life, her pitiful screams drowned out by the blasting strains of “Dream On” playing on the show’s closing credits.

Cassandra’s disappearance does not go unnoticed. Her best friend, Beth, grows increasingly concerned when Cassandra fails to show up for work or return her calls. Beth knows Cassandra was excited to attend a taping of “Wayne’s World” and decides to drop by Wayne’s house to look for her.

When Beth arrives, Wayne greets her with a charming yet oddly forced grin. “Beth! How excellent to see you. Cassandra isn’t here, I’m afraid. She left right after the show ended.” Beth frowns, not believing Wayne’s poor lie, but pretends to accept his words. After Wayne closes the door, Beth sneaks around to peer into the basement windows – and is horrified by what she sees.

In the basement, Cassandra is chained to a chair, battered and bloody. Garth stands over her with a baseball bat, half-heartedly hitting her while murmuring under his breath, lost in a daze. Beth stifles a scream. She knows now that Wayne and Garth’s sinister secret, and that anyone who enters their orbit of fame is unlikely to escape alive.

Beth races to the police to report what she witnessed. At first, the police chief is skeptical – Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, the harmless TV hosts and local celebrities? Impossible! But when several more teens are reported missing after attending “Wayne’s World” tapings, the police have no choice but to investigate. 

By the time they obtain a search warrant and descend into the basement of Wayne’s house of horrors, it is too late. All they find are the remains of Cassandra and many others, sacrificed in grisly rituals to feed Wayne’s insatiable hunger for fame and attention. Wayne and Garth have disappeared, ready to start their macabre show anew in another town. The police now know the truth that Beth warned them of too late: that Wayne’s World leads only to a descent into madness, death and no escape.

The Epic Conclusion

The Aurora public access studio is now abandoned, left dormant after the sinister events surrounding “Wayne’s World” came to light. The set of the show remains standing, covered in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs, as police were never able to determine the true identity of Wayne Campbell or Garth Algar.

Six months later, a young intern at the studio, Jenny, is working late one night when she notices a strange glow coming from the old “Wayne’s World” set. At first, she assumes the lights were accidentally left on. But as Jenny walks onto the set, her heart freezes.

The familiar strains of “Bohemian Rhapsody” are playing. And there, on their usual couch in the middle of the set, are Wayne and Garth – or what’s left of their remains. Their desiccated corpses sit stiffly, as if gruesome puppets waiting for their strings to be pulled.

Suddenly, the record scratches and stops. Jenny stifles a scream. In the silence, she hears a faint disembodied whisper, like a final evil sigh:

“Party on…” 

Jenny flees, her panicked footsteps echoing in the dark halls of the studio. The intern swears she will never return to this place again. 

But “Wayne’s World” lives on, waiting to claim its next victims. Their mortal bodies may be gone, but the sinister show will play forever in an endless loop, calling souls to join them in the maddening fray. There really is no escape from Wayne’s World.

Justin
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